Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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