I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
