we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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