Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
