32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
