Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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