3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize