Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
