1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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