Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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