Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
