you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
