Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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