Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize