My balls are so social today.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
