There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
