Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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