Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
