dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
