Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
