That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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