sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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