Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
