I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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