i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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