i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
