he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Where is the hickey?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
