therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize