But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
