You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Randomize
