dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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