I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
