That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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