im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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