I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
