i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need a beard to bite.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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