Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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