are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
