my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
