So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
