dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
