First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
