My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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