is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
