Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't turn off my feet"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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