My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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