No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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