That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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