i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
