if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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