what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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