Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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