But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
