all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize