Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
