I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
