Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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