K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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