Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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