dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize