I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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