All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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