just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The air was thick with penises
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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