bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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