I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
